


jon finally gets to punch jonah

by avemflamma



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Crack, Elias Bouchard Being a Bastard, M/M, elias gets punched
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26770660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avemflamma/pseuds/avemflamma
Summary: listen it's 6:13 am and i just think jon should be allowed to punch jonah. i am not a writer. this is awfulmy only comfort is that it's written horribly on purpose, solely because i am not confident in my writing abilities! thank you for reading please enjoy also i am so sorry
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 21
Kudos: 36





	jon finally gets to punch jonah

jon slowed to a stop as he and martin drew near the base of the panopticon. he took a deep breath, staring up at the dark shadow looming before him.  
“this is it. This is where it ends” he said quietly, reaching out to take martin’s hand. they were about to have a nice angsty moment when the voice of elias, or rather jonah, piped up from the top of the tower:  
“what the FUCK is up losers haha”  
(he didn’t actually laugh at the end, he just said ‘haha’ aloud like some kind of dipshit.)  
“i knew you missed me and my very cool and good monologues also wow you’re boyfriends now? gay rights i guess”  
“fuck you jonah” martin yelled back “i’m going to kick your ass”  
jon tried to grab martin before he could do anything rash, but unfortunately jon is small and martin is large and powerful. martin kicked down the door to the tower with all of the anger of a slave to academia (that’s an incomprehensible amount of anger, for reference) and stood aside to let jon through.  
“after you, mlord” he said, trying to wink but failing and just blinking awkwardly.  
jon proceeded cautiously through the door, glancing back at martin (who gave him a thumbs up in typical martin fashion) before starting up the stone steps. as he reached the top, he could hear the muffled voice of jonah from behind a large steel door calling down to them.  
“hey wait where’d you go I was about to monologue at you“  
jon opened the door, which was unlocked for some reason (because jonah is an idiot and a victim of his own hubris), finally laying eyes upon the man who’d doomed the world. the body of jonah magnus whipped around as dramatically as possible as he heard the door open, spreading his hands in a theatric gesture and grinning like a businessman who has just successfully committed tax fraud.  
“ah, welcome, jon, to my-“  
unfortunately, jon and martin never got to hear whatever godawful monologue about the beauty of a shattered world that jonah had no doubt painstakingly planned out, as at that moment, jon punched jonah so hard that he just fucking disintegrated. straight up vaporized into oblivion. the eye in the sky shed a tear at the majesty. martin was only a little sad that he didn’t also get a chance to beat jonah up.  
then jon threatened beholding with the power of his fist and beholding was so scared of being given a black eye (haha) that it just returned the world to normal and ran away and nobody else died (except the people who really deserved it :/)  
and then jon and martin smooched  
the end


End file.
